INT. VIDEO RENTAL SHOP
VASCO, accompanied by a SMALL CHILD, walks up to the counter looking lost. Two of the EMPLOYEES take a step backwards before he says a word, the third is transfixed to the television set, watching reruns of “Friends”.
VASCO
Excuse me, do you have Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.
One of the employees rolls her eyes.
EMPLOYEE 1
Pee what?
We’ve been busy working on an educational project. the head villain, Le Barbe Bleu, stepped down and allowed a coalition of lesser known villains to take his place.
Soon afterwards, Gordon Brown decided to call it a day and give Cameron a chance to go gray.
Now that resignation is all the rage, some of us lesser mortals may feel left out. We like our jobs, but we want to join the trend.
So, we can ghost a resignation letter from our favorite fictional character. Perhaps Sancho Panda is sick of playing second fiddle to Don Quixote. Or maybe one of the Wicked Witch of the West’s flying monkeys is considering a career change.
The deadline for this contest is the end of the month (31 May). Post your entry as a reply to this blog. Winners will be announced in the usual places.
Character and plot are two different words. So why do so many self-proclaimed experts say that “character is plot”? (Are they just copying F. Scott Fitzgerald? Or do they have a point?)
The extreme film where character “is” plot is The Muppets Christmas Carol. (this post contains spoilers.)
Remember that “professional” photographer who took a polaroid of you on the beach without asking? Then he had the nerve to ask you for five bucks (when the dollar was the international currency)?
Well, today he’s been replaced by the MySpace musician who has emailed you a link to his song. You listen to it, and find a little box asking for a five pound donation.
Personally, I’d rather drop a coin at some guy playing live music in the subway, or drawing a charicature of me in Paris.
I’m sure the tax man disagrees. It’s much easier to freeze a Youtube filmmaker’s PayPal account than it is to follow around some fire breather with an open guitar case. But really, most of these artists don’t make enough to pay taxes, do they?
Unfortunately, graffiti is still around (and terrible graffiti at that). We still see panhandlers and con artists (online and off). But whatever happened to the big city “honest beggar”? Where is the street artist now?
Am I a dinosaur here? Has the Internet destroyed the street artist?
London, April 1, 2010: A large Hong Kong firm has bought the United Kingdom and paid off Britain’s debts. In return, Gordon Brown has agreed that Britain will adopt Chinese culture, including the Chinese calendar. Continue reading
Is there a character in fiction that you think got off too easy? Or perhaps one that had it too rough?
Or are you just sick of rejection letters, and want to reject someone else for a change?
Share your frustrations by writing your own rejection letter to a fictional character.
The winner will get credit on this blog and within the participating networking groups.
If you’re too lucky to know what a rejection letter looks like, an example has been provided. Sorry Mr Igor
Deadline 19 March 2010 at 2 pm.
(You can enter for free. Simply add your entry, or a link to it, as a comment on this blog.)
——
Edit: Winners announced.
Lubna made me laugh and I’m glad to have her posts on the blog. Laura Sherman’s was also entertaining. Any of their posts could have been a winner.
This time I’m going with Donna F. Hammett’s rejection of Scarlette. It captures the Old South, and looks authentic.
The winner of the “Write On, Networkers!” entries was Caroline Koepke’s rejection of Elmer Fudd.
What’s up with the “Arab” Gulf?
I checked my old geography books. Everything from the Twentieth Century tells me that:
Somebody wanted to change that. Why?
Like many other filmmakers, you want to make a feature film, but don’t have a screenplay. Maybe writing it yourself isn’t an option right now.
A lot of the public domain material out there is terrible. If you look, you may find a gem, but that takes almost as long as writing one yourself.
So you look to experienced screenwriters.
Q. How do you get an experienced screenwriter to write you a screenplay?
Three men were sentenced to death by firing squad: a retired sabre tooth hunter, a perpetual job seeker, and a head hunter. Continue reading
Johnny is fed up with the day job. On the way home, he thinks of a ripping satire involving his boss and coworkers that he just “knows” will win awards.
Johnny starts planning his career. This one he’ll give for free: he’ll promote the script on websites like shooting people, talent circle, and scripts for sale. Then, when he wins an award, he’ll sell a concept written on a napkin for a record amount of money and retire. Continue reading
