After watching an American movie with my kids, I sometimes tell them I’m homesick. They get absolutely terrified.
America, as it is portrayed in the movies, is like hell on Earth. Now, it’s not perfect…
… gas is four dollars a gallon. In Europe, however, petrol prices are measured per liter. They are always more expensive here.
Some of my American friends complain about doing temporary work. Well, my friends here jump at any job. A long-term contract has long been thought a thing of the past.
If Hollywood concentrated on real problems, everyone would think America was a great place. Instead, we are presented with a grotesque picture.
Every street corner has a sociopath lurking to get you. Every city contains a powerful madman bent on world domination. Every school seems to contain a group of bullies, who just happen to attack the most likable person in the whole school.
But don’t think that a Hollywood home is safe. No, the father, if he’s not a lunatic tyrant, is an absent workaholic. The mother, if she’s not a crazed alcoholic, runs off to start her own career in another town. And the children, if they aren’t in a gang, are dying of cancer.
Of course, there are good points, but they are always tempered with bad. The Hollywood houses are on average 400 acres in size, but the family still can’t afford to go to a doctor. Why not move to a smaller house? I guess there aren’t any small houses in Hollywood.
The people seem to be overly beautiful, perhaps too beautiful to allow an ordinary person to be included in their social group. Even someone who wears last week’s fashions, or has a mobile phone about 2 grams too large, is an outcast. Napoleon Dynamite, the only average-looking kid in the movies, is the figure of fun.
We all look at the news, however, and know that even the “good” aspects of Hollywood are false. The other side of the “lamestream media” tells us that in reality, every American who is not a movie star or professional athlete is 500 pounds overweight, unemployed, and goes on shooting sprees every Wednesday after church. (They don’t hold church on Sunday because they’re too busy watching tv and ignoring each other.)
Now, when I see my children’s reaction, I finally understand why the American media lies so much. Ok, so half of the actors are Canadian or British, and many of the directors come from Europe. The others seem to be Dixie crats (like the divisive monster who runs Turner), and there are even a few Australians (like the divisive monster who runs Fox).
There is a part of the American media that hates America and wants us to hate it too.
But, there is another part who are homegrown, xenophobic bastards who want to scare immigrants from coming into the country. That’s the real Hollywood plot, to make people afraid to come to and visit.
Seriously, I’m being sarcastic. The real problem is a total lack of observation and creativity. A stereotype is the child of laziness.
I have been to schools without bullies, I’ve passed street corners without getting mugged, and I even managed to walk to school without having any problems whatsoever. Yes, I even went to the doctor once and could afford it, without being a billionaire. (Doctors work for ordinary people too, that’s how so many of them find work.)
Maybe it is a conspiracy to scare off the immigrants. I mean, I can understand a few screenwriters having no power of observation. But it’s such a “competitive” industry that it’s hard to think that so few original screenplays get to the producers’ desks that have America as a setting.